A wizard and his witch.

An irritable wizard is living in his magical hut in the middle of the woods with his equally irritable girlfriend, a witch. Because the process of casting spells, making potions, and other wizarding tomfoolery is quite messy, there is a constant amount of chores to be done to keep the hut in order. While the wizard would like to have his beloved witch clean up after him, her stubbornness and aforementioned irritability means that he usually ends up with the broom.

One night, however, the witch messed up. She had been careless, and an unattended and particularly pernicious potion's odors had left green stains on the once-clean walls of her wizard's hut. Immediately when the wizard came home, he ordered her to scrub the stains off.

"Shan't," replied the witch.

"Baby," said the wizard, "I love you, but I swear, if you don't clean those walls I'll turn you into a frog."

"Pfft. You wouldn't, you're just a big softie," replied the witch. But the wizard was so incensed that, true to his word, he turned her into a frog with a wave of his wand.

"I'll only change you back if you work," said the wizard.

"Shan't!" replied the obstinate witch.

"Well," said the wizard, "if you don't scrub the walls, well...baby, I love you, but if you don't scrub the walls, I'll turn you into something even worse. A dung beetle!"

"Shan't!" the witch repeated, and before she could hop off she was transformed into a dung beetle by another wave of the wizard's wand.

"You'll never get me to work," the witch said, "you're such a big softie, I know you."

Now the wizard was more angry than he had even been before, and he couldn't control himself, "Alright, baby, I seriously love you, but if you don't get to work right now I will transform you into fire, and you'll burn and burn and all you'll feel is pain!"

"Pfft, you'd never, you big fat softie-" but before the witch could finish, the wizard had waved his wand again, and she had transformed into a blazing ball. Soon she was feeling the heat.

"ARRRRGGGHHH!!" she screamed, "CHANGE ME BACK! CHANGE ME BACK!"

"I'm afraid I can't," said the wizard smugly.

"WHY NOT?!"

"Cause baby you're a fire, work!"