A man whom everyone knows as 'Fuckwit' walks into a petshop

and goes to the clerk and says, "Yo, I want a pet." The clerk responds, "The only thing we have left is this clam," and he points to the clam. "Problem is, it's annoying." "What's so annoying about it?" asks Fuckwit. "Well," the clerk responds, "The only thing it says is 'Wooo Tangy' and it says this over and over, nonstop. I tell you what, you can have it for free." Fuckwit accepts and is given the clam.

The two hit it off straight away and infact the clam was more useful than annoying at first, with it's cry of, 'Woooo Tangy' making a good alarm clock. However, as months and eventually years passed, the to grew apart. Fuckwit hated the clam and its cry was driving him insane. One day his friend comes over and sees a glum Fuckwit staring at the floor. "What's up mate?" he asks. "I don't know, it's my clam. It's driving me insane."

"But I thought you and the clam were close?"

"Nah, not anymore."

The friend who hates the clam says, "Ok, then leave it right there and don't come back for it. Ever."

So he agreed and he never saw his pet again, proving once and for all that the Woooooo Tangy Clam aint nothing to Fuckwit.