A man walks into a bar with a monkey...

Everyone in the bar goes wild, "Hey look at that monkey!"

Immediately, the monkey jumps up onto the bar.

He grabs a handful of peanuts and eats them. Then he grabs a handful of pistachios and eats them. Then he jumps onto the billiards table, sticks the white pool ball in his mouth and swallows it whole.

 

The bar crowd is amazed, "Hey man your monkey is amazing, he swallowed that ball whole!"

"I know the damn monkey eats everything in sight, let me finish my drinks and I'll pay for the ball" the owner says.

He finishes his drinks, pays and leaves.

 

Two weeks later the monkey returns and hops right back on the bar, except this time he take an olive sticks it up his ass pulls it out and eats it, takes a cherry sticks it up his ass pulls it out and eats it.

Someone asks, "Hey what's up with your monkey man?"

 

Owner replies, "He measures everything first, ever since he had to shit out that pool ball."