This unlicensed doctor was supposedly able to work miracles. The doctor was busy, though, so he sat down in a chair and decided to watch him, and see these miracles for himself. The doctor opened up his current patient and pulled out a loaf of bread, still in its wrapper. Joe was astonished as he watched the doctor stitch his current patient back up.
"Where the hell did that loaf of bread come from?" He shouted.
The doctor, annoyed, said "He had a bread cyst, now sit back down and shut up until it's your turn."
The doctor's next patient came in and laid down on the table. The doctor knocked him out with cloroform before opening him up, much as he had the last. He reached in and started pulling out crabs, but they were viscious beasts and kept grabbing his hands with their pincers. As the doctor was screaming in pain and yelling obscenities, Joe, watching, decided to help. He ran and grabbed his pair of barbecue tongs from his car and began grabbing the crabs and tossing them in a nearby trash can. The doctor was greatly pleased by this, and offered Joe a discount if he would help with the next surgery. Joe replied "Sure, but what's the deal with all the crabs?"
The doctor, puzzled, asked "Haven't you ever seen cancer before? This was a particularly aggressive case, but it's not atypical. I just wish my assistant hadn't passed away."
Joe was starting to feel like he was either going mad, or he's been badly misled by his schooling, but he doesn't want to admit it. He instead asked the doctor "What happened to your assistant?"
"Well," says the doctor "we operated on a guy with lupus and lion face."
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