His young grandson comes out the front door and asks,
"Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
"That depends, can your dick touch your ass?"
"No," the boy replies, embarrassed.
"Well then you're not old enough to have a beer."
The boy goes back inside so the grandfather decides to have a cigar. He lights it and his grandson comes back outside.
"Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
"That depends, can your dick touch your ass?"
"No," the boy replies.
"Well then you're not old enough to have a cigar."
The boy goes back inside and a while later comes out with a fresh plate of cookies. The grandfather asks,
"Hey pal, can I have a cookie?"
"That depends, grandpa. Can your dick touch your ass?"
"As a matter of fact, yes it can."
"Well then go fuck yourself, grandma baked these for me."
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