I was cleaning up a room in my basement when I found a printed out chain email from September 29, 2000 containing several *killer* jokes. Prepare for a blast from the past!
* How do you get holy water?
>You boil the hell out of it!
* What do fish say when tey hit a concrete wall?
>Dam!
* What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
>Polaroids!
* What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
>A stick!
* What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
>Nacho cheese!
* What do you call Santa's helpers?
>Subordinate Clauses!
* What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
>Quattro sinko!
* What do you get from a pampered cow?
>Spoiled milk!
* What do you get when you cross a snowman whith a vampire?
>Frost bite!
* What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
>A nervous wreck!
* What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
>Anyone can roast beef!
* Where do you find a dog with no legs?
>Right where you left him.
* Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
>Because they have big fingers!
* Why don't blind people like to go skydiving?
>Because it scares the dog!
* What kin of coffee was served on the Ttanic?
>Sanka!
* What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>The location of the dirt bag!
* Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
>Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat!
* What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
>A bad golfer goes, whack, dang it! A bad skydiver goes dang it!! whack!
* How do you catch a unique rabbit?
>Unique up on it!
* How do you catch a tame rabbit?
>Tame way, unique up on it!
* What do you call skydiving lawyers?
>Skeet!
* What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop, clop?
>An Amish drive-by shooting!
* How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
>Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!
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