A Catholic Priest finds a job.

Dave the Catholic Priest needed a part time job. His salary was still quite low and he needed to save up while on vacation. So he got in contact with Francis, the Bishop, to get help in spreading word around local businesses that Dave was a good, honest chap ready to undertake work.

In no time at all Dave got a break- fast food.

He showed up at 7 am for the first day. Jim, an old friend of Francis the Bishop, was sympathetic to Dave's cause and was happy in giving him a dozen hours a week. He was also aware of Dave's one flaw that Francis warned him about: Dave tended to daydream and become forgetful, aloof or even careless during monotonous tasks. This had led to him losing the Church keys on a few occasions. Leading Choir practice in the driving rain was not a pleasant experience.

So Jim was on the lookout and intended to keep a keen eye on Dave's performance.

"Dave mate. I haven't trained you in food safety yet. So for this week you're responsible for keeping the joint clean before, during, and after the chippy is open for service. Right. Any questions? Good man,"

So Dave was handed reign of all cleaning supplies and tasks. Days 1 and 2 went okay. Dave just about managed to prep the front of shop for the opening, though struggled keeping count of all the bits and bobs in inventory. Day 3 was a struggle. Dave, used to working in leisurely pace found wiping down tables and clearing trash in time quite taxing. More than once he left spray bottles around benches and behind doors. Customers were befuddled and Jim left frustrated at this incompetence.

Jim stopped Dave on the morning of day 4. Trash was found under tables, counters left too greasy after ineffective wiping, and the supplies were whittled away almost to nothing but a sponge after Dave's mismanagement.

"Jim, look I'm really sorry. But I'm getting the hang of this now! Please give me another role if you really don't me cleaning."

So Jim complied. The next day Dave turned up at 6.30 am as per instruction.

"Okay Dave. Fresh start. This job is a bit new and I'm sure you'll learn from it too. You need to collect the frozen supplies at the store. They've been paid for so don't worry. Just collect everything and race back in good time. If you know what I mean."

Dave thought he knew exactly what Jim meant.

"So long as I drive quickly, I can take the rest of the day off!"

Two hours later on what should have been a 15 minute trip, Dave entered the premises with a dejected expression.

Ten minutes later Jim also wore the same expression, albeit with a scowl and high blood pressure to match; Dave had struck a streetlamp, mounted the sidewalk and blown out a tire in the process because he thought Jim wanted him to *race* back. With the company car out of service Jim was strained to keep things operational. Dave was becoming a liability.

To the sheepish priest he said, "Dave. Final chance. I hired you as a favor, not a burden. From tomorrow work in the back with Phil on food. He'll give you something to do."

Dave nodded vigorously, "Thank you so much Jim! I swear to it- I won't be forgetful or careless. You can count on me!"

"Yeah. Good. Just don't burn this place down."

6.30 am, the next day. Dozens of customers filed in and out every few hours, bellies filled, vinegary lips smacked. Jim didn't see much of Dave. Naturally he was quite nervous. No complaints over the phone for mixed up orders, or hair in the mayo, or dismembered digits in the salad. Maybe he should have put Dave there in the first place. The next day came and went. Another suspiciously uneventful day. Almost too quiet. "Don't fret too much", Jim thought to himself later on that Thursday evening. "Phil was happy with Dave's work and didn't mention any hiccups."

A week passed in this way. Jim was in a good mood to say the least. Sales and profit had nearly increased by 500%; customers were actually leaving feedback on their experience for the first time in months; The company car was back from repairs, costs much lower than anticipated; the takeaway was still not destroyed in a fire, and Phil reported no missing items or mishap in the kitchen. Even Dave was in a good mood, starting and leaving his shifts with a smile on his face and lively spring in his step, giving him an almost surreptitious look.

It was nearing the end of Dave's vacation. Jim had just handed the last overtime paycheck to his star employee when he thought to ask something on his mind for a while now, "Dave, top job. You've done wonders to help this takeaway get back on its feet again. Everyone loves the food. Heck, even people from the next town over are calling in to order! So between us two men- how on earth do you cook so well? The battered fish is the talk of the town, so are the chicken wings- oh and the chips! They're so good they make you want to slap your mama! How have you done it!?"

"It's nothing, really Jim!"

"No, no! Please tell! You're one of us. Even if you're leaving, you can pop around to help any time you want at double your current wages. But please. How have you done it?"

"It's simple, Jim," Dave said as he moved to lean forward, closing the gap between his boss. Involuntarily, an excited croak left Jim's throat.

"Oh?" sweat beaded on his forehead.

"Simple, Jim. I'm just a good friar."