Cat Jokes
Why is a cat like a joke?
If you dissect it, it dies.
What was the cat amputee's reaction to her successful transplant?
It gave her pause
What's the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has a pause at the end of a clause and the ...
I wanted a cat but the wife wanted a dog
... so we compromised and got a dog
A cat is walking home alongside a stream
When he sees a sausage floating down it. Not to...
I cannot take my new pet cat seriously
She's always kitten around
What do you call a cat that is missing a leg
A threeline
Did you hear about the contest that awarded the winner with a cat?
It was a catastrophe.
This hating of people that breastfeed in public really has to stop.
I can raise my cat any way I want.
Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening, but before they do, they always put their cat outside...
The taxi arrives, and just as the couple walk o...
True story: Kitty cat had PUPPIES!
Recently attended my great aunts funeral. This ...
what happens when you throw a rock at a dumpster
a cat comes out
Did you know that dogs can't get MRI's?
only cat's can
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead rob a bank..
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to r...
I accidentally ran over and killed my neighbor's cat today...
I was too scared to tell him to his face, so I ...
What's a cat's favorite day of the week?
Caturday.
Furiday is a close second.
EDIT: BRI...
A dead duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterin...
Police have arrested a cat for robbery
Guess they've identified the purrpetrator
The cat bit me, so I slapped it, and asked, "How'd that feel?"
He replied, "Me aw"
"A touching story"
One day a girl was walking from school... On th...
A fire fighter is working outside the station when he notices a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders on the sides
a garden hose coiled in the middle, and wearin...
Did you hear ab the cat who climbed the tree outside the bank?
They made him branch manager
A cat goes to the vet with a septic infection.
Hello Pus, said the vet.
What's smarter than a dog, but dumber than a cat?
Their owner.