You know you're in a redneck hospital when...


... Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.... Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.... Dogs hang around O.R. for scraps.... Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.... Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.... Your Gynecologist is Ernest.... Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.... The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.... Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.... Hospital food consist of picking-your-own corn on the roof.... Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.... Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.... You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.... You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.... The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.

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