Another day has gone by. And, of course, we now have a new set of jokes. Some of these are weirder but let's begin!
Inside int'l experts believe that Kim Jong Un may have two babies by two different women. In a quick response to the rumor, President Obama has appointed a new consul to North Korea, Ambassador Maury.
More on the international front, David Beckham has announced his retirement. Beckham says he's going to take the time to wind down and chase his true passion, spinning soccer balls on his beautifully chiseled nips.
Love this guy, Hugh Hefner has just bought his wife her own house. The house comes with a redone master bedroom equipped with a queen bed for his wife and a pull-out casket for Hef.
Can't leave this out, Obama has named a new IRS chief. Obama says the new guy has all the right stuff. He's great with numbers, even better with people, and no ink allergy so he can swallow any evidence.
More political news, Obama says he has "no apologies" over the AP scandal. And keeping with the administration's attitude, Biden also offered no apologies when he farted on FLOTUS while she sniffed flowers in the White House Rose Garden.
This is kind of strange, a group of psychologists have found that kids today are wimpier than those in the past. But you could already tell based on the new top-selling sanitized kids' book, "Clifford the Sensibly-Sized Hypoallergenic Maltese on Ambien".
We've already seen this on Reddit but it finally hit the news. A mysterious, oozing, puke-like puddle has reportedly been spewing from a sewer manhole in China. Sources say the ooze is already being called "Panda Express's Best Dipping Sauce Yet".
There's some news and thanks for checking in. See you tomorrow!
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