9. You awake in the middle of the night to a tape repeating, "This time it's true love... This time it's true love..."
8. You get an electric shock every time you leave the toilet seat up.
7. Everything she says sounds interesting but has no practical value.
6. A trip to any fast food joint always results in ketchup-and-napkin Rorschach tests.
5. After you fall down the stairs, she asks "How does that make you feel?"
4. Instead of a goodnight kiss, she leaves you with, "Looks like our time's about up".
3. Win one lousy game of Nintendo and suddenly you're a manic bipolar schizophrenic with blatent passive/agressive tendencies.
2. During arguments calmly says, "What I hear is that you can't stand my overly rational, Spock-like approach, and that you feel I should have the stick extracted from my ass. Is that correct?"
1. You're rewarded with a peanut everytime you correctly hit the G spot.
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
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