The Top 15 Differences on a Naked Airline Flight

15> You don't instinctively panic when someone yells, "We're going down!"


14> The liquor bottles aren't the only obviously undersized objects on the flight.


13> Look at those beautiful leather seats! Never mind -- that's just the AARP group returning from Cancun.


12> Three straight hours of the guy next to you asking for help adjusting his seat belt.


11> "Sorry about that turbulence, ladies and gentlemen -- my co-pilot grabbed the wrong stick."


10> "Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned off the 'No Groping' sign...."


9> "We'll now begin pre-boarding for passengers with cups C through D."


8> You lowered your window shade, but you can still see a full moon. Six of 'em, in fact.


7> Earning Mile High Club membership requires much less strategizing than with other airlines.


6> At meal time, nobody orders the pulled chicken.


5> "... and those of you on the left side of the cabin, if you now look to the right, you can see the towering timber of flight attendant Brian."


4> The guy next to you won't shut up about how tough it is to be the only African-American on the Supreme Court.


3> It's much easier to tell when somebody's coming down the aisle with nuts.


2> "And now in the left aisle, serving cocktails, come on guys, put your hands together for Taammyyyy*!"


1> Forget flotation devices -- after what those seat cushions have been through, you'd rather drown.


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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]