14> Management reserves the right to beat senseless anyone suggesting we get a karaoke machine.
13> No stirring someone else's drink with your buffalo wing bones.
12> True happiness only. Satisfaction, beatitude, and gruntlement are not acceptable.
11> Friday drink special: $2 "Sex Out Of Reach" shots
10> Make sure your Secret Service henchmen hide your empties from Laura.
9> Anyone who's not happy will be beaten with pool cues until they become happy.
8> When falling off chair, do not block aisleways to jukebox or restroom.
7> We welcome our NRA and Girl Scout drinking buddies!
6> Strict 5-drink limit is means somewhere around 12 to 15 drinks.
5> Absolutely no Sally Struthers.
4> Good bar trick: Tying a knot in a cherry stem using only your tongue.
Bad bar trick: Unzipping your pants using only your tongue.
3> Designated drivers drink free all night!
2> Calculating the value of pi on your cocktail napkin beyond 32 decimal places won't leave room to write the phone number of the girl you're trying to impre-- Hey! Where'd she go?
1> Confusing, hard to read signs on the restroom doors to be replaced with schematics of appropriate genitalia.
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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
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