The Top 14 TopFive.com Happy Hour Rules


14> Management reserves the right to beat senseless anyone suggesting we get a karaoke machine.


13> No stirring someone else's drink with your buffalo wing bones.


12> True happiness only. Satisfaction, beatitude, and gruntlement are not acceptable.


11> Friday drink special: $2 "Sex Out Of Reach" shots


10> Make sure your Secret Service henchmen hide your empties from Laura.


9> Anyone who's not happy will be beaten with pool cues until they become happy.


8> When falling off chair, do not block aisleways to jukebox or restroom.


7> We welcome our NRA and Girl Scout drinking buddies!


6> Strict 5-drink limit is means somewhere around 12 to 15 drinks.


5> Absolutely no Sally Struthers.


4> Good bar trick: Tying a knot in a cherry stem using only your tongue.


Bad bar trick: Unzipping your pants using only your tongue.


3> Designated drivers drink free all night!


2> Calculating the value of pi on your cocktail napkin beyond 32 decimal places won't leave room to write the phone number of the girl you're trying to impre-- Hey! Where'd she go?


1> Confusing, hard to read signs on the restroom doors to be replaced with schematics of appropriate genitalia.


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]


[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]

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