The Top 14 Signs Your Cat Has "Mad Cat Disease"

14> By sharpening his claws on the chair leg, he's carved a pretty good likeness of Joaquin Phoenix.

13> Recent hairballs include alarmingly large chunks of postman.

12> "I'm not Fluffy anymore; call me Muhammad al Fluf-Rahim."

11> Catches mice, only to keep them as pets.

10> Starts sending you parts of the dog through the mail.

9> Created a bunker in his litter box.

8> Stacks his hairballs into the shape of Devil's Tower, Wyoming.

7> Has bet it all on the Cubs winning the series this year.

6> That slight "off" smell before it hits the wok.

5> Can't stop purring "Helter Skelter."

4> Now kills mice by sending them through your wood chipper.

3> While cleaning the litter box, you find the bodies of several drifters.

2> Goes on long rants about how the country is really controlled by Jewish dogs.

1> He just coughed up a brainball.

[ The Top 5 List ]

[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]

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