13. New automatic shut-off on turn signals prevents endless embarrassment.
12. Constant "Who's better -- Pearl Jam or Glenn Miller?" fights.
11. "Ask Me About My Grandchildren" sticker mysteriously appears on shuttle exterior after Senator Glenn's spacewalk.
10. Space suit re-cut to accommodate prostate swollen to grapefruit size in zero-G conditions.
9. Constantly looking at Earth from window and remarking, "Now *that* didn't used to be there."
8. "Help! I've fallen, and I can't get down!"
7. Game of "Which Golden Girl Wouldn't You Kick Out Of Bed?" decidedly less fun for some astronauts than others.
6. In space, no one can detect old man smell.
5. After taking Viagra in a zero-gravity environment, the orbiting Glenn can clearly be seen from Earth without the use of a telescope.
4. While others are on a space-walk, a confused Glenn yells out the window: "You damn kids stay outta my yard!"
3. Location of Senator Glenn's space suit belt raised to just below the arm pits.
2. Friggin' Vicks VapoRub stinks up the cabin for days.
1. Metamucil-powered "organic emergency boosters" are activated by pulling the Senator's finger.
This list copyright 1998 by Chris White
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