The Top 12 Signs Your Ex is Dating a Convict


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]


12> She calls to ask you the meaning of "conjugal."


11> Her new bumper sticker: "Convicts do it for life."


10> She proudly says she finally found a man who sleeps in the same bed every night.


9> She only feels comfortable speaking to you on the phone when you're on opposite sides of the same window.


8> Your ex *is* a convict.


7> Back from custody weekend, little Timmy asks if he can have a steel toilet next to his bed, "just like Uncle Snake!"


6> You hear her asking the kids if the "screws" at daycare are treating them right.


5> Your children's response to why drugs are bad is "they violate your parole."


4> You're spending another weekend with the kids because "Mommy's visiting the Conjugals."


3> She boasts: "He's a former child TV star!"


2> Your kids try to guess how many cigarettes their birthday presents are worth.


1> Her license plate is autographed.

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