When Mom and the kids go off for a few days and leave Dad behind to struggle on his own, it can be a painful thing for him to deal with. With that in mind, we thought we'd offer some help...
10> Don't use the guest towels to mop up after your 36-hour porn-a-thon.
9> It's not worth the water conserved to shower with the dirty dishes.
8> Scrape frost from freezer for instant shaved-ice party drinks.
7> Don't rebuild your transmission in the dining room; use the bathroom.
6> Maintain a healthy diet; make sure your hefeweizen has a lemon slice.
5> Socks first, *then* shoes.
4> Jim Crow still rules the laundry room: separate the whites from the coloreds.
3> Despite the efficiency potential, Dawn and Ragu cannot be combined to make "self-cleaning spaghetti."
2> Never wash the youngest's clothes, because there is no one to hand them down to after you shrink them.
1> Check your wife's underwear drawer; if it's empty, she's not coming back.
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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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