The Golden Monkey

A man is driving in the country when his car runs out of gas. Fortunately, he's able to make it to a nearby farmhouse, and goes to ask the farmer for some gas.
"Gas? I have a can down in the cellar. Go in the back, undo the lock, open the trap door, go down the thirty-seven flights of stairs, and you'll find it next to the cage. But whatever you do, *don't touch the golden monkey in the cage*!"

Thankful, the man proceeds into the back, undoes the lock, opens the trap door, goes down the thirty-seven flights of stairs, and looks around the cellar. Sure enough, there's a gas can on the floor, next to a large cage containing a golden monkey. It sits on a stool, ignoring him as he retrieves the gas can and starts up the thirty-seven flights of stairs to his car.

The man fills up his tank, thanks the farmer, and goes to replace the gas can. He heads into the back, through the trap door, down the thirty-seven flights of stairs, and sets down the can. The golden monkey pays him no mind, and he goes on his way.

Halfway up the stairs, the man stops. He turns around, goes back down eighteen flights of stairs, and goes to the cage. "Hello?" he says to the monkey. The golden monkey ignores him. Slowly, he reaches out, putting his hand through the bars. The monkey doesn't move. Gently, he touches the monkey on the arm.

The man recoils as the golden monkey goes wild. It starts screaming and thrashing, clawing at him through the cage. Panicked, the man turns to run, but as he does, he hears the monkey break the bars of its cage. He barrels up the thirty seven flights of stairs as fast as he can, hearing the monkey speed after him, roaring. He reaches the top and slams down the cellar door, locks it, and makes a mad dash for his car. Behind him, the cellar door shatters as the monkey rips through it.

He manages to make it to his car and jumps inside, peeling out as fast as he can. The monkey is right behind him, and before he can get up to speed, it leaps onto the top of the car. Howling, screaming, it beats at the roof of the car. The man floors it and steers wildly, but the monkey will not be dislodged. With a roar, it punches a hole through the roof and peels back the metal. The man slams the breaks, but the monkey will not be dislodged. Crying, the man braces himself. The monkey reaches in and taps him on the shoulder. "Tag, you're it!"