A poor,old woman sat there on her rocking chair on her porch,reflecting back on her long life. She then spots something on the garden path.She hobbles over to it bends down and groans in pain from a sore back.She picks up the bottle and hobbles back to her rocking chair.She gives the bottle a rub and:
POOF!
A Genie apears and says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle of which I have been trapped for thousands of years!I grant you three wishes.
The Old Woman thought.There was so many things she could wish for!She says"For my first wish,I wish to be a young and beautiful woman again with my life ahead of me!"
The Genie puts a mirror infront of the Old Woman and claps his hands.Suddenly,she watches her body begin to change in the mirror.Her skin tightens and her wrinkles dissapear.Her old figure becomes a new curvy one.Her hair turns from grey to black and lenghthens so it is long.She suddenly feels as if her chest is about to burst out of the top of her dress!She watches as her stomach goes flatter and her legs grow longer.Then the rest of the changes occur.
"Hey Presto" says the Genie."You are a beautiful young woman!"
The young woman stares in the mirror at her new lavashing beauty and youth and says"Wow this is really exciting!,I look like I'm 24 again!"
The Genie says"Your second wish?"
The young beauty says"All my life I have been poor, please,I wish to be the richest person this universe has seen!"
The Genie claps his hands and the woman watches as her tiny cottage proceeds to grow into the biggest mansion the world has ever seen.The small garden grows until it is massive with big blooming flowers and fountains and right in the middle of the garden there is a 20ft statue of the woman surrounded by fountains.On a driveway she sees that she has three limos each a chauffuer standing next to each one.She goes inside her mansion with the Genie and sees certificates like how she owns Hollywood and bought Microsoft off of Bill Gates!She looks on a table and sees her bank balance.It comes to a total of 6 billion trillion dollars.She notices servants and butlers buzzing about the house.
"Hey Presto!"says the Genie."Your are the richest woman this universe!"
The young woman sits down on a chair which was hand made by Leonardo Da Vinci."Wow",she says"Now that I am beautiful and rich,i suppose that I will have men that only love me for my money and not for who I am."
Just then the woman's cat wanders into the room."This cat has been my lifelong friend.For my third wish,I wish that this cat turn into the most handsome young man on Earth who loves me to bitsfor what I am."
The Genie claps his hands and dissapears.
Suddenly the old cat turns into the most handsome man on the planet.He has jet black hair and a athletic body with rippling muscles.The woman stares at him, smitten.He walks over to her and her legs go weak.He rubs his hand along her body and stokes her hair.Then he whispers into her ear"I bet your sory now for taking me to the vet and having my d**k cut off"!
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.