A man's wife leaves for a week to visit friends across country. She leaves him food for the week and instructs him to keep the house clean and feed the cat. After 3 days away, the woman calls and asks him how everything is going.
Wife: How is everything?
Husband: Pretty good but the cat died 3 days ago.
Wife: What? And you wait till now to tell me? No call that day? You could have called me each day and broke it to me easy, I loved that cat.
On day one you could say the cat was up on the roof and fell off but looks ok. Day two he's at the vet they said he's not doing well and then today tell me he died.
"God you are so insensitive, how is my mother? Did you kill her too?"
Husband: Nah, she was up on the roof i think i just heard her fall off, ill take her to the vet tomorrow!
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.