The F Word

Things that bother me a little...


When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it
too." Whatthafuck good is a goddam cake you can't eat? What,
should I just let my fuckin cake sit there, and look and look
and look, and try to find someone else who has cake, and eat
their fucking cake instead? Fuck off.


When people say, "It's always in the last place you look". What
the fuck??? Of course it fucking is. Whythefuck would you keep
looking after you've already fucking found it? Whothafuck are
these people?


When people interupt you while you're watching a movie, and say:
"Did you see that???!!!" No, dickhead, I pay $8fuckin50 to come
to the fuckin theatre to stare at the back of the fucker's head
in front of me. Whatthafuck do YOU come here for?


People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give
me fuckin choice there, did ya, ya sorry fuck. Hey, do you mind
if I shoot you in the fuckin head? Ooops, sorry...


People who POINT at their wrist and ask, "Do you know the time?"
Hey, I KNOW where I wear MY fuckin watch buddy, where the fuck
do you wear yours? Up your fuckin ass, maybe? Should I point at
my fuckin crotch when I ask you where the bathroom is? Or maybe
I should just pull out my fuckin dick, and piss on your fuckin
leg, you mother fucker.