Thanksgiving Day...

It was the week before thanksgiving and a little kid heard his parents arguing, although he couldn't hear much, he made out the words "Bitch" and "Bastard". So he goes up to his Dad and says "Daddy, What is a bastard?" And his Dad replies "Oh sweety, it is just another word for gentlemen. Later that day, he goes up to his Mom and says "Mommy, What is a bitch?" And his Mom replies "Honey, it is just another word for women"


Two days later the kid is sitting downstairs watching television when he hears his parents arguing again, although he still can't hear much, he makes out the words "Penis" and "Vagina". Not knowing what these words mean, he plans to ask his parents. He decides to ask his Mom first, he walks up to her and says "Mommy, what is a vagina?" His Mom, who didn't know what to say, looked around the the first thing she saw was a coat, so she said "Honey, it is just another word for coat". Satisfied with that answer, the little kid decides to ask his dad what a "Penis" is. So he waks up to his Dad and says "Daddy, What is a penis?" His Dad, looks around the room and the first thing he sees is a hat, so he says "It is just another word for hat" The little kid satisfied with his answer, leaves and goes back to the television.


It is the morning of thanksgiving and the little kids parents gave him a very important job, to welcome the guests. But, it was still early and no one had arrived yet. All of a sudden he hears his dad scream "SHIT". His Dad had cut himself shaving. The little kid runs up to his dad and asks "What does shit mean?" And his Dad replies "It is just a type of shaving cream". An hour later he hears his Mom yell "FUCK", she had cut her finger while she was cutting the turkey. The little kid runs up to his Mom and asks if she is ok and asks "What does fuck mean?" His mom says back "Honey, it is just a way of cutting the turkey".


So the guests arrive, and the kid goes to welcome them and says in his most gentleman like way, "Welcome Bitches and Bastards, may I have your penises and vaginas? My Dad is upstairs wiping shit off his face, and my Mom is fucking the turkey."