Tapeworm

So a guy complaining of stomach issues goes to the doctor. Doctor discovers the guy has a tapeworm.

"Doc ... what do I do?" moans the guy.

"Nothing to worry about," says the doctor. "Here is what you do. Every day at exactly 3:00 in the afternoon I want you to shove a hot dog up your ass. Then, every day at 3:02, I want you to shove seven or eight M & Ms up your ass. Come back for your next appointment in exactly one week.

So the guy goes home and does as he's told. Every day at 3:00 he shoves a hot dog up his ass. Then, at 3:02, he shoves seven or eight M & Ms up his ass.

A week later he comes back for his appointment. The doctor comes in with a thick medical book and looks at his watch. At 3:00 the doctor shoves a hot dog up the guy's ass. Then he waits.

Two minutes. Three minutes. Four minutes.

After five minutes the tapeworm pokes its head out of the guy's ass and says, "Hey! Where the hell are my M & Ms?"

And BAM! The doctor smashes the head of the tapeworm with the book.