Talking Parrot

First of all I would like to state I have not read this joke on here before, so I figured I would post it. This is from a good friend of mine who heard this joke in his home country, and translated it for me. Warning contains slight racism and cursing.
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A Mom and her 2 Sons were in a pet store, the sons were looking at a parrot whose cage had a sign that read "Talking parrot only says 2 phrases." the Mom asked the clerk "What phrases does the Parrot say?" the Clerk responds "I don't know he hasn't said them yet, he will eventually pick 2 phrases to say."

The Mom buys the bird for her 2 Sons and takes him home. After a few hours of playing with the Bird in the Living Room their father comes home just in time to catch the big Football game, the two sons go outside to play catch.

While outside the one son throws the ball a little too hard and it smashes through the living room window, the Dad goes to the window and screams "If that shit would of hit me, I would of fucked you up!" the boys were sent to bed early.

The Dad goes back to watching his game, just as his least favorite player got the ball and starting running he yells at his TV "Fly Nigga Fly!" His team eventually won and the Dad goes to bed.

The following Sunday the Family was going to take the Bird to the Vet to get checked out, so they figured they would bring the Bird to Church and head straight to the Vet afterwards.

While at the Church the Bird starts acting up, so the Priest throws a book at the bird. The bird then screams "If that shit would of hit me, I would of Fucked you up!" The Priest is appalled by the birds reaction, he says to the bird "How do you expect to get into Heaven with that mouth?" the Bird replies "Fly Nigga Fly!"