A trucker is driving West across Texas, haulin' a trailer full of chickens, with his pet parrot in the cab. While driving through Dallas he sees a beautiful woman on the side of road, leg hiked up, thumb out. He stops and looks at her. "Where ya headed?" He asks. "Headed to California." She says grabbing her things. "I can take ya as far as Santa Fe, but on one condition: I gotta get me a piece of that ass." She throws her bags down and starts cursing him out calling him dirty names. He frowns and his parrot starts off "No fuck, no ride. No fuck, no ride" as he closes his door and drives off.
Well in a small town between Dallas and El Paso he sees another lovely lady waiting for someone to pick him up and they go through a similar exchange. She cusses him up and down, and off his parrot goes squawking "No fuck, no ride" as he drives off. He finally makes it into El Paso, and for a third time sees a well endowed woman looking for a ride. Offers to take her as far as Santa Fe for a nice spin of her tail. Once more he is called dirty names and cursed like an old Gypsy. His parrot starts off again, "No fuck, no ride. No fuck, no ride." Well the trucker decides he's had enough of his parrots lip and throws him in the back with the chickens.
A few miles outside of El Paso he sees a cop pull up behind him and the lights start flarin, and the siren starts blowin. The trucker pulls off and gets out and starts talking to the officer calmly. "Now officer, I wasn't speeding, my tags are up to date, and my lights aren't out, what's the deal?"
The officer gives him a weird look and says "Did you know you have a crazy parrot kicking chickens out the back screaming 'No fuck, no ride'?"
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