So this black bear walked into a restaurant...

So this black bear walks into a restaurant. Ok, wait, I know what you’re thinking, why’s it have to be a BLACK bear? Ok, fine, it was a brown bear... no wait... that still won’t work. Polar bear? Maybe a grizzly bear, though, I guess technically that’s still brown. You know what, it doesn’t matter. It’s not important to the joke. You just make it whatever kind of bear you want. It could be a grizzly bear, polar bear, koala bear, it doesn’t matter. This is now strictly between you, your bear and your morals.

So this BEAR walks into a restaurant and a bunch of the patrons are all really uneasy because a bear just walked in. One of the patrons actually jumps up and runs from the restaurant screaming. No wait. That wouldn’t make sense if it was a koala bear. Unless that guy had some traumatizing experience with a koala bear when he was a child or something. So fine, it can be whatever kind of bear you want, but not a koala bear, or it could be a koala bear if the guy who ran off had a traumatic koala bear accident as a child. Regardless the guy who ran off isn’t important to the joke, so we’ll just move on.

So this bear sits down at an empty table and waits for the waiter. The waiter timidly walks up to him and offers him a menu and the bear says, “That’s no good. I can’t read. I’m a bear. If you could bring me a cheeseburger, though, that would be great.” Now I know what you’re thinking, why can the bear talk but not read? I mean are we supposed to suspend our disbelief as far as talking but not reading? I don’t know. Maybe the bear was in a bad school system. Maybe he’s always been slow. Which is really unfair considering that if the bear can talk he’s pretty damn smart for a bear. Regardless, it’s important for the joke that the bear can talk but he can’t read.

So the guy goes back to talk to his manager because he’s not sure what to do. After all this is the first time a bear has ever been to the restaurant. The manager asks the waiter, “So you’re telling me this bear can talk?” The waiter nodded, “But he can’t read.” The manager shrugged and said, “Must have come from a bad school system.” The waiter agreed but added, “Regardless he’s still obviously pretty smart for a bear.”

So then the manager gets this bright idea, “You know, he probably doesn’t really know anything about what people charge for food, and if he can’t read then we could charge him whatever we wanted for his cheeseburger.” See, I told you it was important that the bear couldn’t read.

So the manager says, “I’ll tell you what, get him his cheeseburger but charge him $100 for his meal.” So the waiter agrees and gets the bear his burger. The bear eats his burger still making the other patrons uncomfortable. Unless it’s a koala bear then they all think it’s adorable, ya know except for that one guy who had the traumatic koala bear accident.

After the meal the waiter tells the bear, “That will be $100 dollars.” The bear shrugs and pays the man and picks up his hat to leave. The bear was wearing a hat when he came in now, because bears in hats are funny.

On his way out the waiters stops him and says, “You know, you’re the first bear we’ve ever had at our restaurant.” The bear grumbles and says, “With prices like these, it’s no wonder!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!