Ned vs Ted

Warning: This joke is meant to be told in person to keep friends busy.

On a farm, twin race horses were born, Ned, who was older by 2 minutes, and younger brother Ted. Growing up they trained with each other and pushed each other to be the best they could. The day finally came when they were old enough for their first race.

The announcer addresses the crowd, "Aaandddd they're off. It's Ned, it's Ted, it's Ned, it's Ted, it's Ted, and it's Ned by a nose.
Ted, disappointed by his loss goes out alone and starts training harder than ever not to be outdone by his slightly older brother. When the next race comes Ted is more confident than ever that he is going to win.

**repeat the announcer, it's ned, ted, ned, ted, ned by a nose, and ted training harder and harder as long as you can keep listeners attention**
**When listener becomes annoyed after 65 straight Ned wins**

Finally after a long horse racing career Ned and Ted are out in the pasture reflecting on their careers. Ted says, "man, I thought I was going to get you just one time, but congrats Ned you always were the better racer."
Just then, the farmers old dog comes up to the horses and says "I have to tell you guys, I have been watching you your entire careers and what a pleasure it has been to watch you grow up into successful race horses."
Ned looks at Ted and says "holy shit, a talking dog."