She holds them up to him and says: "Daddy, look at my new pants."
The dad thought they looked like shit, so he ripped them in half. The little girl ran off and cried.
The next day the little girl walked up to her dad with a cat. She said; "Daddy look at my new cat, I named her 'pussy'."
The dad got so angry that all he could do was shake the cat violently. He then threw the cat on the ground and it ran away. So did the girl.
The day after that the little girl came home with a dog and showed it to her dad. She said; "Daddy look at my new dog, I named him 'ass'."
The father disapproved and kicked the dog out of the house. The little girl ran out, sat on the curb, and cried.
A few minutes passed and a police officer came walking by. He said to the girl; "Whats wrong little girl?"
The girl, in tears, yelled:
"MY DADDY RIPPED MY PANTS, SHOOK MY PUSSY AND KICKED MY ASS OUT OF THE HOUSE!"
(Thank you to the guy I can't remember who told me this in 7th grade.)
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