My Collection of Cow Jokes

Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?

A: Lean Beef

*****

Q: What do you call a cow with only one leg?

A: Steak

*****


Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground Beef

*****


Q: What do you call a young famous redneck cow?

A: Honey Moo Moo

*****


Q: Why is the murder rate among cows so high?

A: They all got beef

*****


Q: What do you call it when a cow is masturbating?

A: Hamburger Helper

*****


Q: What do you call it when a cow is giving you a hand job?

A: Beef Stroganoff

*****


Q: What do you call it when a cow gets an abortion?

A: De*cafe*inated

*****


Q: How does a farmer count cows?

A: With a cowculator

*****


Q: What do you call a muslim cow?

A: A *Moooo*slim

*****


Q: What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

A: You can't milk a cow for 12 years

*****


Q: What do you do if a cow is in the middle of the road you are driving on?

A: Steer Clear

*****


Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?

A: *Moooo*dy

*****


Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?

A: Your mom

*****


Q: What do you call a cow that you can't milk?

A: An udder failure

*****


Q: Whats the best thing about having a cow with Parkinson's?

A: Milkshakes

*****


Q: What do you call a cow no longer in good standing with the Catholic Church?

A: Exco*mooon*icated

*****


Q: How come midgets never go cow tipping?

A: The steaks are just too high.

*****


Q: What do you call bovine priest?

A: Holy Cow

*****


Q: What do you call it when a cow tries to jump over a barb wire fence?

A: Utter devastation

*****


Q: What do you call an illegitimate cow?

A: A Miss-Steak

*****


Q: What do you call a cow with four legs?

A: A Cow

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.