...and asks his friend if he can watch his parrot while he's gone. The friend assures that he the man nothing to worry about, and wishes him a safe trip.
When the man returns, he asks how everything went. His friend said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. Your parrot died while you were gone." The man looks at his friend and says, "Oh my goodness, how did this happen?" His friend says, "Well, he ate some rotten meat, so I imagine that's what did him in."
The man looked very puzzled, then eventually asked, "Rotten meat? Where did he get rotten meat from?" The man's friend says, "Oh, well it was from the horses that died pulling the water carts to your house to put out the fire."
The man is furious, and asks his friend, "Why was my house on fire!?" The man's friend said, "It was probably that candle from the funeral. I forgot to put it out, and it must've caught the drapes on fire."
The man calmed down a bit and looked at his friend very sadly. After thinking for a minute, he said to his friend, "I'm sorry to here that someone you know passed away. Who's funeral was it?" His friend says, "Oh, right. Your mother."
The man's eyes grew large and he yells, "MY MOTHER!? WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT THIS!?" The man begins to sob and cry, and eventually asks, "How did this happen? She was in such good health!" His friend said, "She came by to surprise you and I thought it was someone trying to rob the house, so I shot her on sight."
The man looks at his friend with fury in his eyes. He gets up and starts choking his friend yelling, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" His friend, barely being able to squeeze out words gargles, "Please calm down man! It was just a parrot!"
Disclaimer: This is my first post, so my formatting is probably terrible.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.