There's no parking when they arrive though. But because it's a Friday night, and this particular place gets real packed real quick, he sends Sasha in while he cruises around for a spot.
She steps inside and spots Pete sitting in the far end of the bar. They greet warmly while she explains Mark's situation with parking – which Pete is bummed to hear since something's come up, and he can only stay a little while. So he orders up a couple of quick shots of tequila as they wait for Mark's arrival.
Pete wastes no time wolfing down his tequila when it arrives. He then takes a leering glance over at Sasha and confesses, “Sasha, you're going to think I'm a total dog for saying this. But I've always wanted to see your boobs.”
The smile that had been on Sasha's face vanishes utterly. “Oh my God! I'm your best friend's wife! How can you say that to me?!”
“I know, I know”, concedes Pete. “It's totally crude. But it's true. And I'd even be willing to pay you.”
Sasha's distress only deepens. “PAY me!!?? Like I'm some sort of cheap hooker?!! How low can you possibly get??”
Pete starts to reply but the red faced Sasha totally cuts him off. “This topic is officially closed! Not another word!”
Pete nods his head in acquiescence as Sasha downs her shot of tequila. A really awkward silence passes.
But Sash cannot contain herself. “I can't believe that the best man at my fucking wedding whom I've known for years is offering to buy a look at my boobs! I would love to know what sick perverts like you pay in the open market for a titty flash!!”
Pete starts apologizing, but then decides to roll with the punches. “Well, if you're a REALLY sick fuck like I am, you might pay as much as $500. But for boobs like yours Sasha – and again please forgive my saying that – I'd give $1,000”
Sasha is totally beside herself. “Where the fuck are YOU going to get $1,000 dollars?? You barely make your rent every month!!!”
Pete reaches into his pocket and puts ten hundred dollar bills on the bar.
Sasha is shaking her head. “Do you have any inkling just how sorry and pathetic you are?” she lectures him. “Do you???”
But Pete can only shrug. Some questions just don't have an answer.
“You know, if for no other reason than to put your sad, deviant ass further in the poor house, I'm going to take your fucking money.”, blurts Sasha. “But there are rules.”
The confusion on Pete's face over this sudden and unexpected turn of events could not have been more evident.
“First. No touching”
“Second. No photos.”
“Third. 4 seconds.”
Pete eagerly agrees to all the rules without a moment's hesitation.
Sasha looks around, turns her back to the crowd, lifts her top, and counts to four.
Pete's smiling face is now so radiant you'd swear the man just got a brand new suntan. Perky bare double D's will do that to a guy.
A bargain is a bargain though. And Pete hands his ten hundred dollar bills over to Sasha. They instantly disappear somewhere down her cleavage.
Makes you wish you were money.
Pete has to leave though and says his goodbyes. “Hey tell Mark I said hello - but I gotta run.” He gives Sasha a kiss on the cheek and says an earnest, heartfelt, “Thank you SO much!”
A couple of minutes later, Mark arrives at the Bar and walks over to Sasha, “Hey any sign of Mark?”
“Oh Yeah, he was here but could only stay a few minutes. You just missed him.”
Mark: “Did he leave the $1,000 dollars he owes me?”
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