A man, Tony, breaks up with his girlfriend...

...and decides the best way to get over her is to go to the bar and pick up a new chick for the night. He buys drinks for all the ladies and none of them show interest. At the end of the night the bartender makes the last call and Tony, disappointed, makes his way out the back to head home. As the door to the bar closes behind him, he notices a drunk hobo passed out over the sidewalk railing. Tony glances around to see if anyone is nearby and prods the hobo to see if he'll wake up. The hobo grumbles slightly but otherwise doesn't show any intention of waking up anytime soon. So, after not getting any action at the bar and knowing that nobody would ever find out, he drops the hobo's pants and removes his own and gets it on with the hobo. Tony finishes up and cleans up himself and the hobo. He begins to walk away but starts feeling guilty for using the hobo so he slips five bucks into the hobo's pocket and heads home.

The next morning the hobo wakes up disoriented and hungover. He looks around and slides his hands into his pockets as he begins his morning walk around the block only to feel something strange with his hands. He pulls out the five bucks and is ecstatic! He can't believe it and runs down to the liquor store, slams the five bucks down on the counter and says, "Give me five bucks worth of the cheapest stuff you've got!" The clerk takes the money and hands the hobo the cheapest liquor they've got. The hobo grabs it and walks out of the store, drinking the liquor for the rest of the day. Eventually, he heads back to his spot behind the bar and passes out.

Meanwhile, Tony headed back to the bar in hopes of getting some action from the ladies tonight but just like last night, every girl in the bar didn't even notice him. Closing time rolls around and Tony heads out the back door to make the long, lonely trip back home. Tired and hurt, Tony barely noticed the hobo slumped over the railing again. Tony wasn't planning on spending the night alone so decides that it can't hurt anything to have a go with the hobo again. He yanks down the hobo's pants and unzips his own and starts going at it with the hobo. A few minutes later, he cleans up, slips a five in the hobo's pocket and heads home satisfied.

The next morning, the hobo wakes up more hungover than yesterday and slips his hands into his pocket and yelps for joy as he pulls another five bucks out of his pocket. "It's a miracle!" he says to himself as he makes his way back to the liquor store. He walks in, slams down the five bucks, and demands cheapest liquor. The clerk grabs the cash and hands over the liquor and the hobo makes his way out of the store. The hobo gulps down the liquor throughout the day and passes out behind the bar again for another night.

Meanwhile, Tony was telling all his single friends who couldn't get any action that they should all come to the bar with him tonight in hopes of having better luck in numbers. A few of them have other plans but three of his friends decide to go. So the four of them head to the bar and just like the last two nights, all the women ignore Tony and pay no attention to his friends. So when the bartender makes the last call, the four of them head out the back to go their separate ways but lo-and-behold the hobo is slumped over the railing again. Tony's friends laugh at him and begin heading home but Tony stops them and lets them in on his secret. They can't believe it so Tony tells them to watch as he goes at it with the hobo for the third night in a row. Tony's friends are amazed and each one of them takes turns with the hobo, leaving five bucks each time. Satisfied, they all head home for the night.

The next morning the hobo wakes up and reaches into his pockets and pulls out twenty bucks! He looks at the wad of cash and sprints to the liquor market. He slams twenty bucks on the counter and says, "Give me twenty bucks of your most expensive liquor!" The clerk takes the money and says, "You know, you could get a lot more liquor if you get twenty bucks of our cheapest stuff again." The hobo nods, "Yeah, I know, but that cheap stuff is making my ass hurt."