Learned From Kids

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape.5. When using the ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.6. The glass in windows - even double pane - cannot stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.9. A young child can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.10. Small Legos will successfully pass through the digestive tract of a six-year-old.11. "Play-Doh" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.12. Super glue is permanent.13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.14. VCRs will not spontaneously eject PB&J sandwiches15. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.16. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise in a moving car.17. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.18. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not taste or smell better baked.19. The spin cycle on the washing machine does make earthworms squirm.20. Making a cat dizzy will cause it to spit up twice its body weight.

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