Improved State Mottos

Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi


Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!


Arizona: Dehyd-rific!


Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing


California: As Seen on TV


Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother


Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less
Character


Delaware: Please Call Before Visiting So We Can Make Room


Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids


Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism


Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland
Scum, But Leave Your Money)


Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The
Potatoes Sure Are Real Good


Illinois: Gateway to Iowa


Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free


Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk


Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States


Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names


Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our
Tourism Campaign


Maine: Cheap Lobster


Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware


Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax
Brackets)


Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians


Minnesota: For Sale


Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State


Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work


Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else


Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest


Nevada: Whores and Poker!


New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone


New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto
Right Here!


New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets


New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the
Right to an Attorney


North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable


North Dakota: Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah,
Dinosaur Bones!


Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland


Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing


Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner


Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal


Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island


South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually
Surrender


South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota


Tennessee: The Educashun State


Texas: Se Hablo Ingles


Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus


Vermont: Yep


Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't
Mix?


Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!


Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?


West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really!


Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese


Wyoming: Wynot?