"I'm the strongest man alive"

said the drunk man to the bartender. "Oh really? Well we actually have our own local strongman competition, if you're interested. Keep in mind, it's a bit obscure. You up for it?"
"Psh. I can do anything," he slurs.
"Okay. Your first test is behind that door. You need to hogtie a brown bear." He slams a shot, and stumbles into the room. Fifteen minutes later he emerges, bruised and cut, but victorious nonetheless. "Well done. We have two more challenges for you. Behind the second door is an old retired porn star. You need to get her to climax three times. And the other challenge is to pull 3 rotten teeth from a rabid rottweiler."
"No problem." He slams two shots and walks through the door. After about 45 minutes he walks out, and asks the bartender, "Now where's the old hag with the rotten teeth?"

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