(NSFW) When I saw a frog sitting on a rock. As I walked past the frog said to me "Here mate, come here a second" and I was shocked! "WTF!! How can you talk??" The frog replies "I'm a magic frog, ofc I can talk" and I'm like "There's no such things as magic frogs" and he says "Fine I'll prove it! I''ll tell you tonight's winning lottery numbers, then will you believe me? They'll be 5, 9, 13, 16, 29 and 43" By this point I'm sure I've been drinking too much or I'm tired so I'm like "Whatever mate I'm outta here this is mental" so off I go, get home, try and clear my head, and sit down for some TV. Few hours pass and I remember the frog, so I flick over to the lottery results just to reassure myself, and would you fvcking believe it, the numbers are right! The bloody frog was right!! Quick as I can I run straight back to the park, find the same rock and there he is, so I start to apologise "Mate, I'm so sorry, I had no idea frogs could be magic, I checked the numbers and you were right!! I'm so sorry, can you find it in your heart to forgive me, and tell me next week's winning numbers?" The frog considers this, and says "Welllll you were a bit of a d!ck to me earlier, not believing me and all, kinda hurtful you know" and I'm "Mate I will do anything, anything you want, you want a box of flies? I can get them, whatever you want, I'll do it!" The frog seems pleased and says "What about a wee stroke, will you give me a wee stroke on the head?" I'm like "Of course mate! Anything you want" and give him a wee stroke on the head. He's like "That was great, thanks. Now how about a wee kiss on the head? Would that be ok?" I'm like well this is a little weird but fvck it it's lots of money so I give him a kiss on the head, and he says "Right that was fantastic. One last thing, and I'll tell you all the lottery numbers you want - I want you to fvck me. Really fvck me" Okaaaaay. Well, this isn't what I'd planned, but, it's a roll-over jackpot, it would change my life, for like 5 minutes of weirdness we're talking overnight multi-millionaire, right fvck it I'll do it! So I drop my pants, warm myself up, and start really fvcking this frog, like properly giving it to him, then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, BAM! The frog turned into a 14 year old girl!!!
And that's what happened your honor, she's lying.
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