I bought a parrot at an auction...

I bought a parrot at an auction, hoping that a companion might help me get through some tough times. The car ride home, the parrot had been quiet and an uneasy tension was building. Throughout the first night, my parrot remained quiet, but the next morning, I awoke to a machine-gun sequence of swear words, rude insults, and some of the dirtiest jokes I had ever heard. I was shocked, to say the least. In an attempt to correct the parrot's behavior, I would read aloud children's books, play Bach and Beethoven over the speakers, and did everything I could to set a calm and relaxing atmosphere. But it was to no avail. The parrot remained relentlessly crass, rude, and now, it had even begun talking back and mocking me with every action I took, calling me names. It was pushing my buttons. Finally, I was at my last straw, and I began screaming back, trading swear words and scathing insults with this ungrateful excuse of a pet. But in a sudden moment of clarity, I realized the ridiculousness of this situation and, immediately grabbing the bird by its neck, placed it in the freezer, with the intent of killing it once and for all. The parrot kicked and screamed for a good while before the kitchen grew eerily silent. I slowly opened the freezer to check on my victim, when the parrot flies out calmly, landing on the counter. The parrot looked up at me and said, "I truly apologize for my behavior. I realize now I may have been rude and insulting to you, and I will correct my attitude and my behavior from now on." I was shocked. Before I could even respond, the bird asked, "So what did the chicken do?"