File These Headlines Under: We Don’t Even Want to Know.

•Firefighters Use Jaws of Life to Free High School Girl from Locker
•FDA Approves Third Silicone-Gel Breast Implant
•Missing Woman Unwittingly Joins Search Party Looking for Herself
•Woman’s “Stomach Bug” Actually Baby
Sources: Ottawa Citizen (Canada), ctpost.com, Associated Press, Toronto Sun

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