Every joke told in this sub, ever.

Here are the punchlines to every joke in this sub. Print it out and you will never again have to click on the link:

I bet the ***** $500. I could have your balls in my hand.

A gun only has one trigger.

No honey, she is left handed.

Because she was fucking Goofy

You mean they gave me a Chihuahua.

You call him by his name, you racist.

Well, my second wish was to get a very tall chick with nice strong legs who agrees with everything I say.

There is no punchline

"I can't complain" he wrote back.

'No, son. That's 'cause your classmates are 9, and you're 25.

No...I'm a frayed knot

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either

I'm a taxi driver and its going to be 150 Dollars for the ride here and back.

"I’m your son’s teacher."

A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass

When I told her, she looked surprised.

No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whomever you want. He isn't your father"

"Peter, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

The Devil laughs. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?"