Bloopers - Part 4

Next installment of bloopers from Kermit Schafer's book
"Blunderful World of Bloopers."
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Having a Ball: In a concentrated effort to apprehend the rapist,
local police are asking all women to copulate with them....uh,
that is cooperate with them.


Tough cookies: Today, lesbian forces invaded Israel.....Lebanese
forces!


Strange bedfellow: The President extended his hostility.....I
mean his hospitality.....to the visiting candidates.


In-flight rules: A stewardess had just finished distributing
in-flight refreshments consisting of mixed drinks and assorted
salted nuts when the plane hit a pocket of air turbulence. In an
effort to calm the passengers, she made the announcement, "We
are experiencing some temporary air turbulence, but it should
pass in a moment. In the meantime, please hold onto your glasses
and nuts."


Ain't it the truth: A local man who was arrested today for
embezzling money from his employer. More tonight after "Greed."


Editoralizing: A prize-winning dog's owner is suing for $10,000
in damages when his pet's tail became caught in a crate while it
was being shipped. To extricate the pooch, part of his tail was
removed. (pause) That's a lot of money for a piece of tail.


What a pitch: The pitcher for the New York Mets had a two shit
hutout.....er, a two hit shoutout against the Padres.


Good deal: We have a wide selection of new and used cars, so
come down right now and make an offer. Bring your wife and we
can dicker.


Loose ends: Up next is a very popular song. Andy Williams will
sing "Can't Get Loose to Using You."


How much would you pay: The elegant penthouse of this luxurious,
twenty-seven story resort hotel provides an expensive view of
the beach.....expansive!


Not Kosher: A four-year-old girl was rushed to the hospital
after a dog attack. Doctors will begin a series of injections to
protect her from rabbis....uh, that is rabies.


Music to the ears: The accoustics of the old cathedral have
greatly improved since the 1800's. Much of the sound in those
days was absorbed by the voluminous skirts of the female
parishoners. Nowadays, with the emergence of the mini-skirt, the
old organ really goes to town.