It's the last day of class, and the teacher announces that if the students can correctly spell a word starting with each letter of the alphabet and use it in a sentence, they can be dismissed early.
"A!" she announces. The whole class shoots their hands up. Little Johnny is waving furiously. Hmm, she thinks. Too many words start with "A" for Little Johnny to mess with...ass...adultery...anal...."Susie, you go."
"Apple," Susie says. "A-P-P-L-E. We went on a picnic and brought apples."
"Very good," teacher says, "you may go." Susie leaves. "B!"
Little Johnny is dying, shaking his hand and arm madly.
Bitch, bastard...no. "Pete?"
Pete says, "B! Bologna! B-O-L-O-G-N-A. I had a bologna sandwich!"
"Great! You may go."
They go through a great deal of the alphabet, and most of the class is off enjoying their summer. Little Johnny's arms are likely to fall off. Finally they're up to R.
"R!" Little Johnny is bouncing in his seat. Teacher thinks, R. What starts with R? She can't think of a thing.
"Little Johnny?"
"R! Rats! R-A-T-S!"
Teacher is astonished. "VERY GOOD! Now can you use it in a sentence?"
Little Johnny nods, beaming. "We've got RATS in our basement! Huge fuckers with foot long cocks!"
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