...and the bartender hands him an apple

So I was sitting at the bar one day, and I say to the bartender

"Hey barkeep, can I get a rum and coke?"

"Sure thing! Just give me one second!"

The bartender grabs the rum, he grabs the coke, and puts an apple on the bar

"Hey what the hell is this"

"Take a bite"

I took a bite and was amazed

"Holy shit this take like rum"

"Turn it around"

I turn the apple around and take a bite

"Holy shit it taste like coke"

The bartender laughs and just says

"I'm a mixologist"

I called up one of my buddies and told him to get down to the bar as soon as possible, he comes in and I tell him to order some kind of mixed drink

"Alright I want a Gin and Tonic"

"Gin and tonic coming right up!"

The bartender grabs the gin, he grabs the tonic and comes back and puts an apple on the bar.

"WHAT THE FU-"

I cut him off, "take a bite"

He takes a bite

"Woah Tonic"

The bartender says "turn it around"

Confused my friend spins the apple and takes a bite "AND THERE IS THE GIN!! WHAT HOW?!?"

The bartender laughs and says "I'm a mixologist"

So my buddy and I were enjoying our flavored apples when one of our mutual friends walk in

I say to him "DUDE ASK THIS BARTENDER FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD, HE HAS WHAT YOU WANT, AND HE PUTS IT IN AN APPLE."

Our mutual friend looks at both of us, chuckles when he sees his pals in the bar freaking out about apples. "Alright bartender I want your finest....pussy"

"Uhhh, let me see what I can do"

The bartender goes into the back and not more than a minute later comes back and puts an apple on the bar "Take a bite"

Our buddy takes a bite and immediately spits it out "WHAT THE FUCK MAN THIS TASTE LIKE ASS"

The bar keep smiles and says..."Turn it around"


I'm sorry if it's not funny over text but this is my all time favorite joke to tell, I hope you guys enjoy it!