A few of my favourite Tim Vine jokes...
1. Conjunctivitis.com, that's a site for sore eyes.
2. Exit signs. They're on the way out, aren't they?
3. Crime in multi-storey car parks. It's wrong on so many levels.
4. I phoned the local gym and asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said "How flexible are you?", I said "I can't make Tuesdays".
5. Black Beauty, now there's a dark horse.
6. I'll tell you what I love doing, packing myself into a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
7. I went to the doctor and he said "You've got hypochondria", I said "Not that as well".
8. I had a dream last night. The voice said "On your marks, get set, go!" I woke up with a start.
9. I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
10. I've decided to sell my hoover, well, it was just picking up dust.
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