A teacher gave her class an assignment.....

She asked all the kids to come back to school the next day with a story, and what the story teaches you.

The next day she asked who wants to share their story. Little Johnny goes first and says "I live on a farm, and we had 12 chicken eggs, but only 10 of them hatched. That teaches you to not count your chicks before they hatch"

Little Susie went next and said "I live on a farm as well, and we were taking eggs to the market one day, but the basket fell out of the back of the truck and all the eggs broke. That teaches you to not put all your eggs in one basket."

Nobody else would volunteer, so the teacher called on little Billy and said "Billy why don't you share your story." Billy got a dark look on his face and said, "Well my mom did tell me a story about my uncle Bob once. He was a gunner on a helicopter during Vietnam. One day his chopper got shot down and Bob fell to the earth. While he was falling he had three things on him. A bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a knife. As he was falling he decided to drink the bottle of whiskey so that it wouldn't break when he hit the ground. When he hit the ground, he was surrounded by 100 Viet Cong. He used his machine gun and killed 50 of them before he ran out of ammo. Then he used the knife to kill another 40 of them before the blade broke. Then he killed the last 10 with hand to hand combat." Johnny finished his story and the teacher said "That's amazing! But what does it teach you?" Johnny told her "It teaches you not to fuck with Uncle Bob after he's had a few drinks."