A man walks into a bar...

And says to the bartender "Hey buddy, if I show you something truly **amazing**, will ya give me a free drink?"

The bartender looks around, and seeing how its an insanely slow day, and he's bored out of his wits cleaning glasses all day, says "Sure, why the hell not? But it has to be **amazing!**"

So, the man reaches into his coat, and pulls out a 14 inch Baby Grand Piano, which he proceeds to play a few random notes on.

"Dang Mister, that *is* **amazing!**" says the bartender, and pours him a beer.

The man drinks the beer, and says "Bartender, if I show you something *even more* **AMAZING**, will you pour me another?"

The bartender thinks for a moment, looks around at the dead bar, and says "Shit mister, if you have something *more* amazing than that in your pocket, you **deserve** another drink!"

So, the man proceeds to pull out a 12-inch, live, human being, and sets him down at the piano, where the mini-man proceeds to play a stunning rendition of Bach's Minuet in G. The bartender stands there in complete awe at what he's seeing, but a few moment later, true to his word, pours the man his **second** drink.

The man tucks his miniature piano and person back into his coat, sits back down, and enjoys his second drink. When he's almost done, the bartender looks at him and says "Ok mister, The piano, that was **amazing**, it really was. But then that real-live person, that was **incredible**! So I have to ask you, where in God's green earth did you do find those???"

The man studies the bartender for a moment, and calmly replys, "If I show you, will you pour me one last drink, and then leave me be in peace to enjoy my third and final drink?"

**"HELL YES!"**, responds the bartender. "Gladly!"

So, the man pulls out a shiny, albeit ordinary, grey river rock. He tells the bartender, "Hold this rock in your hand, close your eyes, and concentrate very hard on whatever it is you desire or wish for most of all." He holds the rock out for the bartender to take, which he does.

The bartender looks at him incredulously, then at the rock, then back at him, but nevertheless pours the man a final draft. He then closes his eyes, clutching the rock tightly in his fist, and concentrates harder than he's ever concentrated on anything in his life. **POOF!** The next second the largest flock of ducks the world has ever seen fly through the bar wracking havoc and destruction in their path as they go.

**"WHAT THE FUCK!"** yells the bartender, as he tosses the rock back to the man. "This rock **SUCKS!** I asked for a million *BUCKS*, not a million *DUCKS*!"

Smiling, the man takes a long drink, pockets the rock again, and responds "Good Sir, you seem intelligent; Do you *really* believe I asked for a 12-inch Pianist?"

=)