A horse named Mary

There is a number of surrealistic Russian jokes about the Wild West. Let me translate and post one.

A cowboy and a young woman are riding in a stagecoach. The cowboy is holding a burlap sack. The young woman says,

"Something smells so bad!"

"It is a long and sad story. I had a loyal horse named Mary who saved my life more than once.

"Once in the prairie, I awakened from Mary's neighing and saw three pairs of burning eyes in front of me. I reached for my faithful Smith&Wesson and pulled the trigger. These were coyotes. This was how my loyal horse Mary saved my life for the first time.

"Next year in the woods, I awakened from Mary's neighing and saw two pairs of burning eyes in front of me. I reached for my faithful Smith&Wesson and pulled the trigger. These were wolves. This was how my loyal horse Mary saved my life for the second time.

"Next year in the mountains, I awakened from Mary's neighing and saw one pair of burning eyes in front of me. I reached for my faithful Smith&Wesson and pulled the trigger. It was my poor horse Mary. Grieving, I cut off my horse's front legs, and have been carrying them with me ever since."

"So it is your horse's legs that smell so bad?"

"No, Miss! It's my socks."