A guy walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat. They all sit down at the bar.
The guy asks the ostrich "Hey ostrich, want a beer?" The ostrich says "Yeah, I'll have a beer!" He turns to the cat and asks "Cat, do you want a beer?" The cat replies "Yeah, I'll have a beer, but I'm not paying!"
The guy says to the bartender "3 beers please" . The bartender says "Sure, that'll be $15.60". The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $15.60 and hands it to the bartender.
After they finish their beers, the guy asks the ostrich "Hey ostrich, you want a cocktail?" The ostrich says "Yeah! I'll have a cocktail!" and asks the cat "Cat, do you want a cocktail?" The cat replies "Yeah, I'll have a cocktail, but I'm not paying!". The guy orders 3 cocktails. The bartender says "That'll be $27.30". The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $27.30 and hands it to the bartender.
The bartender, astounded asks the guy "How do you manage to pull out the exact amount from your pocket without even looking?"
The guy says to the bartender "Well, I met a genie earlier. My first wish was that whenever I needed to pay for anything, that I would magically have exactly the right amount whenever I reached into my pocket".
The bartender says "Wow! That's amazing! But what's with the cat and ostrich?"
The man sighs, looks at the bartender and says "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs and a tight pussy".
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