A dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
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A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't
realized it yet.


Airhead (er*hed) n.
-------------------
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a
policeman.


Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
------------------------
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the
tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."


Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
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Jokes that are short so men can understand them.


Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
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Gotta get married in a church.


Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
--------------------------------
An appliance designed to eat socks.


Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
--------------------------
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound
bag of peanut M&Ms.


Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
--------------------------
The last two minutes of a football game.


Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
-----------------------
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a
purchase.


Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
-----------------------------------
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with
you to the store.


Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
------------------------------
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to
duplicate again. See "Magician."


Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
---------------------------------
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming
out anytime soon.


Childbirth (child*brth) n.
--------------------------
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold
your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."


Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
----------------------
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On
his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!


Park (park) v./n.
-----------------
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck."
After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.


Patience (pa*shens) n.
----------------------
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
See also "tranquilizers."


Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
----------------------------------------------
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if
you try to remove it.


Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
-------------------------------------
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds,
and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.