A 50 year old single woman goes to the doctor...

She tells the Doctor that she's a virgin, and that she's never even been kissed. She's asked all her friends why she's never been approached, none of them have been able to explain it to her. She just turned 50, and she's sure it must be some sort of medical problem.

The doctor says he'll do a physical, and goes through the routine. At the end, he asks her to pull her pants down, turn around, and grab her ankles. Perplexed but desperate, she obliges.

"Ahh," says the doctor, "it's as I thought. You have Zachary Riker disease. Very rare."

"Zachary Riker disease? What is it?"

The doctor explains that he's not comfortable explaining the disease to her, as he is no expert. In fact, it's so rare, he doesn't even know of a doctor to whom he can refer the poor woman.

Nonplussed but determined to discover the cause behind her virginity, the woman leaves. She looks up another doctor, visits their office, and goes through the same spiel. Same thing: physical, pants down, grab your ankles, Zachary Riker. Even more surprising, the doctor gives the same excuse and refuses to elaborate. She leaves, finds another doctor. This repeats itself at least half a dozen times until at last she finds a doctor who says he knows of the discoverer of Zachary Riker disease. Fortunately, he still has a practice. Unfortunately, he's in Japan.

Undaunted, the woman flies to Japan to see this doctor who can tell her why she's never been laid. She's in the room with the doctor, tells him the same thing she's said half a dozen times. The doctor begins the physical, and like all the others says, "Prease purl your pants down, and grab your ankres."

She obliges. "Ah, yes, definitery Zachary Riker."

"Yes yes, I KNOW, but what *is* it?!"

"Your face rook zachary riker asshole."

EDIT: for clarity (and brevity, believe it or not)