What's the similarity between a dog and a bulldozer?
Neither one is a squirrel.
Squirrel Jokes
What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?
AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
so it wont get its nuts wet
THE GOLFER'S CONFESSION
A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me fat...
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandw...
Yesterday I saw a squirrel swimming...
it was really cool. I have never seen that before.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, and the second t...
Did you hear about the eagle who could catch a squirrel with only one claw?
He was very *talon*ted
One day an old dog lost his way while chasing rabbits
One day an old dog lost his way while chasing r...
At the end of the Vietnam war
An American and Vietcong General were discussin...
A squirrel and an owl are sitting on a tree branch, watching a farmer plow his field...
The owl looks at the squirrel, and doesn't say ...
A kid with A.D.D. walks in late for class...
Look a squirrel!
A boy went to visit his grandfather that lived deep in the mountains... [long]
He hadn't seen his grandfather in quite some ti...
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry!
I was trying to think up some squirrel puns.
But, they were all too nutty.
A woman goes to the vet with her pet alligator...
She says "doctor, there is something wrong with...
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep his nuts dry
I killed a squirrel once with a car.
Twice with a tennis racket.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry!
Not really a joke with a punchline but this is something i wrote when i was 15, freshman year of highschool which got me suspended for a week.
The teacher told us to pair up and write a shor...
WalMart's own brand of wine
WalMart announced that sometime in 2013 it will...
Why did the baby squirrel wear a diaper?
To hide his nuts!!